It’s depressing and feels unfair even though I know to my very core that there is no fucking way my kid is safe around my racist, homophobic, narcissistic, body-shaming boomer parents. I dread the day I have to explain all of this to our kid, and I worry about what ’tradition’ will look like for her. It makes every tiny decision feel like a much bigger deal than it needs to be." —34, New Hampshire, USA As for the rest of the holidays, I take the time to relax and enjoy myself and those that I love. I decorate my home for the holidays and invite friends and others without families over for lavish dinner parties on Christmas Eve reminiscent of those I used to go to as a child. I’ll switch presents with friends and treat myself to an expensive gift or two that I would not normally buy for myself otherwise. I fill my day with cheesy movies and hot chocolate, and on Christmas morning, I enjoy a delicious brunch and all of my favorite things. New Year’s is a party, with my friends and celebrating new beginnings, we get ready and ring out the new year amongst ourselves before heading out and painting the town red. I’m Latina, so I celebrate Little Christmas and will keep all my decorations up until January 6 and will share small thoughtful gifts with some of my closest friends. Overall, I use the holidays to celebrate me and those who are also my cheerleaders, and though it might not be conventional for many, it’s more than perfect for me." —39, NYC Once home, I bring out the gift box and Christmas cabinet. The box is full of gifts people have bought me and stuff I’ve bought for me. The Christmas cabinet is a cardboard box from the liquor store full of candy and treats. I start stocking both around October. For Christmas evening, I always order a new DVD or DVD box set to watch. I also buy some books, in case the power is out or whatever. I also get a new video game just in case I’m bored. For dinner, I have a mail-order ham that I heat up, and I’ll make side dishes and gravy. Sometimes, I’ll order dinner from a local restaurant, but I like having the leftovers from cooking the meal. Some years, I’ll roast a turkey and make soup out of it the next day. The point is to have a full-sized meal with all the trimmings. I find that planning and purchasing things specifically for myself takes some of the expected loneliness out of the holiday. Over the years, I’ve tried many different mail-order shops and love the fancy candies and cookies available. Mail-order ham is brilliant! It takes some planning and order, but in the end, it is 100% worth it." —55, Boston —38, Australia —36, California
